What to say — and what not to say — when you want to support a teen’s health without making her feel judged.
2 minute read. For parents, aunts, uncles and carers.
Try this this week
Invite her to do something active with you that has nothing to do with weight — a walk to get bubble tea counts.
- 1
Choose the moment
A relaxed, private time — not after a meal, not in front of others, and not when emotions are already high. Car rides and walks work well: side by side is easier than face to face.
- 2
Lead with curiosity
You are trying to understand, not to fix. Go in with questions, not a plan.
- 3
Make it about health and happiness
Not weight, not size, not how she looks. Keep it there the whole time.
Instead of
Try saying
Instead of“I’m worried about your weight.”
Try saying“I’d love for us to do more active stuff together. Want to try a class with me?”
Instead of“Should you really be eating that?”
Try saying“This is good — want to help me cook this again at the weekend?”
Instead of“You’d look so pretty if you lost a bit.”
Try saying“I love how you light up when you talk about your friends.”
Instead of“You need to exercise more.”
Try saying“I’ve been feeling sluggish. Would you come for a walk with me after dinner?”
Instead of“You’ve lost weight — you look great!”
Try saying“You seem really happy lately. What’s been good?”
Use “I” statements
“I care about you and want you to feel great” keeps the focus on your relationship, not her body.
Listen more than you talk
Ask open questions. Resist jumping to solutions.
Affirm, don’t fix
Often she just needs to feel heard. You don’t have to solve everything in one go.
Leave the door open
End with “You can always talk to me about this.” Then mean it.
General wellness information, not medical advice. If you’re worried about eating or health, please talk to a doctor. Disclaimer